• ISDN -- It Still Does Nothing
• APPLE -- Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
• SCSI -- System Can't See It
• DOS -- Defective Operating System
• BASIC -- Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
• IBM -- I Blame Microsoft
• DEC -- Do Expect Cuts
• CD-ROM -- Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly
• OS/2 -- Obsolete Soon, Too.
• WWW -- World Wide Wait
• MACINTOSH -- Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
• PENTIUM -- Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math
• COBOL -- Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
• AMIGA -- A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
• LISP -- Lots of Infuriating Silly Parentheses
• MIPS -- Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
• WINDOWS -- Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
• MICROSOFT -- Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

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